funny jokes for you Mitch was far from the brightest student in my Topology course, but he was pleasant and at least he came to class regularly, occupying a seat in the back left of the auditorium.

RibaldPancake 16 day.agoMitch was far from the brightest student in my Topology course, but he was pleasant and at least he came to class regularly, occupying a seat in the back left of the auditorium.

One day, to my surprise, when I entered the classroom I saw that Mitch was sitting in the front row and had a pile of dollar bills with him. Intrigued, I asked him about the money and being up front and he said. “Well, in the last class you told us that today we were going to see the Möbius strip so I came prepared.”

Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. How do you call a white man with a big dick

Michael Jackson

2. A bullied boy who couldn't see, hear, smell, feel or taste punched me in the face yesterday.

I told him there was no need for senseless violence.

3. How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 3, it's still pretty dark down there

4. Women rights are like incognito’s history

[ THEY DONT EXIST ]

5. What do you call a ice skating dwarf?

A midget spinner.

6. What do you call a teen boy who doesn’t masterbate? A liar!

7. I realized I wasn’t sexist cause it’s wrong

Because being wrong is for women

8. What’s the difference between me and puke?

Puke comes out of a baby, I cum in

9. What is the last bottle a woman opens in a party?

The Fairy.

10. What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil

The pencil has a point

11. I went to a vegan BBQ

I thought the Vegan was overcooked

12. What does 2016 and 2020 have in common

A gorilla caused nationwide backlash

13. What's the only thing in a vegetable that doesn't spoil?

The wheelchair.

14. How do you say "handsome black guy" in Chinese?

Goo loo king nee guo

15. What do you call a guy with a cock up his nose

Fuck knows?

16. Corana virus jokes......

......they only land with old people

17. What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire

18. Why have elephants got big ears?

Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom.

19. Afghanistan.

Putting the infant into infantry.

20. So, members of the dwarfism community are offended by Jimmy Carr's joke are they?

Why don't they stop being so precious and just freakin' grow up.

21. I guess there is one distinct advantage to living in a redneck family.

Only one person has to be tested at the STD clinic.

22. What's the difference between Rainbow Six Siege and an El Paso Walmart?

R6S has defenders...

23. What do you call a Chinese Paedophile?

Poke em young!

24. Told my parents, I was going crazy

They said: "Don't worry, it's all in your mind."

25. I sent a box of straws to Ethiopia last week.

I received a letter back saying thanks for the sleeping bags.

26. The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'Beautiful'..

Because bitches like it when u call them beautiful.

27. How does a blond like her eggs?

Unfertilised.

28. Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."

Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

29. A little boy walks up to his rabbi and says “I need to borrow five dollars.” The rabbi replies, “four dollars, what do you need to borrow three dollars for?

30. you can’t be racist...

You can’t be racist if you hate everyone equally!

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